PATIENCE REQUIRED

For months and months now I have been in a situation where nothing is moving. Or it is moving, but not in a way that I am used to. I am living this quiet life by myself. I haven't been in Facebook or any social media for a long time now and it feels great. I never understood how big is the effect of them in my life. It is just that all of a sudden every time I went there to see the posts, I didn't feel good. Actually, surfing in the social media made me feel worse and worse. This was so weird for me, because I used to enjoy seeing how my friends were doing and seeing their pictures. Now, totally opposite. I felt like nothing was real. Masks. No. And masks are not for me anymore. I go for authenticity. But, the thing is, as I am not surfing in the social media, I have a lot of free time in my hands. Oh, and no TV. I sold it. So now it is all about "back to the basics".

Oh my, patience! As a child how patience are we? As we grow up, we may learn this skill. Or not. I have never been very patient. When an idea comes, I need to go for it straight away. Even if all the details are not figured out yet. I always have had this child like trust that everything will work out. No need to wait and plan. Now I feel different. I am creating the rest of my life and for the first time, there is no rush. There is patience. It is required at this time. Because this is big! This is life changing for me. And so I need to allow things to unfold in divine timing.

Roger (my ego) tries to keep on pushing me forward. He says that this kind of staying still, is not good for me. "Saija, you need to do something", he says. "You can not just sit inside your house and watch Netflix 24/7. It is not good for you. You need to go out. You need to find a job. You need to see your friends, go out and have fun!", he continues.

Victoria (my higher self) says "It's okey to just be for now. You are not missing nothing. This is what self love is. Listening to yourself and if you don't feel it, don't do it. It is about trusting the process and having faith that everything that is meant for you, will come to you. So you are doing a great job love!"

I listen to both of them and I am again so grateful that they are here with me. But right now, I am listening to little Saija. What does she want? For too long she has been abandoned and not been seen or heard. More lately yes, but still big Saija needs to learn to listen and see this little girl even more. Her energy is so beautiful, joyful and light. She doesn't have these fears that big Saija has. She is not scared to laugh or to play. Little Saija just does it.

And so I ask her what is it that she wants. And she answers that she wants someone to play with her. That she feels alone. She wants to be surrounded with people who actually see her and accept her as she is. Unconditional love. So we take a imaginary trip to the future. We start to create our own fairy tale.

"I am sitting in my terrace and I am enjoying my morning coffee. Inside the house I can hear my husband making eggs for me and him. I am enjoying the view of the nature. I am listening the voices of the animals and my husband. I just love him so much! He is just everything I ever dreamed of. He is kind, loving, supportive, full of laughter and wisdom. We have our "bad days", but instead of fighting, we talk. This is something I have never experienced before and I love it. This feeling of safety that I have now. Because my husband is so in his own power and he takes responsibility of his own process, there is no need to fight and shout anymore. But to talk and take a step back if needed. I don't need to feel insecure, because he is showing me his love in so many ways.

I hear my phone ringing inside the house. I run inside and answer it. It is Oprah. She wants me to come to the show and talk about the new ways of spirituality. She wants me to share the wisdom that I have gained in my journey. We set up a date for a meeting and my husband comes from the kitchen. I tell him that we will be taken to Chicago after one week. We start to laugh and jump up and down. Unbelievable! We are going to Oprah show! Huge, huge dream come true!

But today. Today we are going to a school where we are, together, going to talk about self love and self empowerment for the youngsters. We want to share our perspective on how we learned to face our fears and how we learned to love ourselves. And from there each other. We are so excited to do this. And nervous at the same time.

Life has been interesting for us ever since we met. We decided to sell almost all our possessions and we bought this caravan. Now we have our home always with us and we can park it in these most beautiful places! We move the caravan when we want to and stay as long as we feel. We are so living in the moment! We both just absolutely love it!

We have been making money for a long time now and we are doing well. Still, we want to keep our living very simple and close to the nature. The only thing that I wanted was a good toilet and shower. We love this life style so much and the caravan is easy to park when ever we are taken to interviews and our lectures all over the world. We are so totally the citizens of the world! No limits!

We only have a hand full of good friends and we normally go and have dinner together as often as we can. We love those moments! We are finally surrounded by people where we just are. No demands, no expectations, no guilt, no people pleasing. Just total acceptance.

My husband has his own hobbies as I do have mine. He has his own friends and things he likes to do. But he also loves to be home with me. We laugh a lot and yes, we have sex a lot! We are sharing this sense of humor together and when we are keeping our talks in the schools, we do it with lightness and with joy. We kind of have come back to the child like energy and now we don't care what others think of this. We just enjoy life and it's small gifts that we are seeing and experiencing every day. We are doing the things that we came to this earth to do and we are so honored to be part of this change in the world. Our love is changing the people we meet. It is changing us. We could have never ever believed that this is possible. Not in a million years!

so I finally have someone to play with. And one of my biggest dreams is about to come true, because I have just given my first fairy tail book to adults to the publisher. What more can I ask for?!"

I tell to Victoria and Roger that I love this fairy tail! It sounds so beautiful! For sure, after letting go of so many things and people, it would be so nice to experience something like this. A dream life. Where there is no "one land is your home", but the whole world is the playground!

Victoria says "Love, everything is possible. You just have to be patience. That's all. It is because of this dream, you have gone through this inner journey. "the old Saija" with all of her fears could have never ever enjoyed this kind of dream even if it would have come true, because she would have found trouble even the smallest thing. Why? Because of the fears. Of getting abandoned, of getting rejected, of not being good enough, of not being powerful enough, of not being beautiful enough. Now you know better, don't you. Anything is possible, just remember this."

And so I keep on daydreaming of this, because deep inside of me, I know. I know so many things even though nothing is showing up in the outside world. But here comes that patience again. There has been many things that big Saija had to learn along this journey, patience too. But this is also something, this patience, that little Saija has to learn now. And she is okey with it. She is in big Saija's arms and together they are traveling towards this dream. And we will get there. When all the peaces of the puzzle are ready. When the divine timing is right. Until then, we practice patience.

LOVE LANGUAGE

We all know the fairy tale of Cinderella, don't we? I was just thinking that what if the three stepsisters would talk to her like this: "Hey you bitch, what the fuck are you doing? Get your ass out of here bitch and go and clean the floors or something! BITCH!" How does this sound to you?!? What would your child say if you would read a night time story like this to him/her?

Me and Victoria (my higher self) had a chat this morning, because I wanted to ask her opinion about the way people talk to each other these days. I have been watching different kinds of Tarot Card readings from Y-Tube and listening to songs too of cause. Somehow the language that are used these days kind of trembles me a bit. When did it come common to use words like "bitch" when you see your best friend? What if these words would be used in the fairy tales we read to our children? Why is it okey for us adults to call someone a bitch, but then we forbid these words from our kids? Why is it okey to say in your channel "if you don't like it, get the fuck out of here bitch"? WHAT? I kind of get it, but then again I don't. And even if I have liked the reading, I will not go back to this channel again. This energy is not my energy for sure.

Don't get me wrong. I do curse a lot! I use "fuck" a lot and all of us, we have to speak as we feel is fit to us! But it is like I have this inner, huge huge, respect towards myself (and from that space to others) and I have had it now for a long time, that I don't call myself "bitch" or would I call someone else with this word. I could never say to someone "Fuck you!". I used to could, but not anymore. Now I would feel awful if I would speak to someone like this. When did it come normal to use these words the same way as we use "hello" and why don't we even react if someone is saying these words to us?

As I look at this picture and this cute little girl (I used to was her), I can not imagine her using this kind of language. Or calling her "a bitch". I have to ask Victoria about this. She starts by saying that for decades we have been living under the fear energy and under the miss use of masculine power. All these words come because of this. Fear wants to be disrespectful. Fear wants to control by words and actions. Fear wants to hurt you with words and actions. We, as humans, have forgotten what love feels like and what kind of words it uses. It does not matter if we try to disguise the words with humor or tell our selves that these words don't mean nothing. It is just a word. We might use a million different excuses to use them. But Victoria reminds me, that this is the language of fear, not love.

Unconditional love is powerful just as it is and it doesn't need these kind of hush words at all. It is only when there are still work to be done within your self and your self love, when you keep on using words like this. There are still fears inside of you that come out with this kind of harshness. All these words are created by fear based ego.

Victoria also reminds me that always when we talk to people, we actually talk to ourselves. Others are just a reflection of how we speak and see ourselves. So when you call someone "a bitch", you actually are talking to yourself this way. Same thing when you shout someone "fuck you". The only thing that this is telling is the lack of self love that you still have for yourself. You can only talk to others as you talk to your self. "So yes", says Victoria. "These hash words are the product of the fear based world that we have been living in for so long".

I am thanking her for her comments and at the same time I realize why I don't ever use the word "bitch" when I talk to me or to someone else. I use words like love, lovie or darling. It just comes out so naturally for me. Now I understand that I have had this inner build respect for myself and others already for a long time! And today it is more clear to me then ever. I would never ever call a child "a bitch" and for me, adults are no different. I would never say to a child "fuck you" and for me, adults are no different. After all, inside of us lives this little girl or boy who is waiting to be loved, respected and cherished. I was born into this world innocent and pure and after the awakening and getting more deeper into self love, I just could not imagine using hash words like this.

Well, I say to Victoria that for sure we have to respect all beings just the way they are. So no judgement here! Just something I wanted to ponder about, since it is not so natural to me. Me and Victoria just want to remind you about your inner little girl or boy. Just keep her/him in mind the next time you use hash words towards yourself or someone else. And take a look at your own son or daughter. With these words, are you teaching them love or fear? What is your message to your own inner child as well as to your own kids?

Me, I will keep on loving myself and others no matter how you speak. You might not get very close to my personal life with this kind of language, but I do surely love you from the distance. After all, it is all about unconditional love and this is what we are all learning here in our own ways and in our own pace.

FOCUS ON JOY

Alright. So here we are. In front of the new. Last post was about me realizing that I am already living my dream life. Big shift in my consciousness. Higher I fly! I have known that the higher level of consciousness is about joy. I have had glimpses of how it feels like, but then there comes a day where I dive into the depths of emotions again, feeling anxiety and frustration. But like I said, something has shifted big time. Ever since this realization that I am living my dream, these lower vibration days has not come anymore. It is like I can not go back into this low energies.

Yesterday me and my crew, Victoria (my higher self), Roger (my ego) and Cynthia (my god fairy), were sitting in a candle light in our current home and we were enjoying our Sunday lazy time. I have just got my new Tarot Card deck and I was very excited to check them out. I was like a kid in a candy store! I just love them so much and it is amazing how the story always unfolds just right. And Cynthia is now reminding me that I have to give myself a credit too about my own intuition and knowing. She means that I can read the cards so well. Thank you lovely Cynthia, you are very correct! I can!

As I was going through the cards, Victoria reminds me about me, when I was a child. She is asking me if I remember how amazing my imagination was? How I created plays, I was singing and also I could always come up with the stories just like that. I tell her that now that you mention this, it is absolutely true!

When we are kids, we are so open and happy. We play, we say things without thinking and without any filters. We feel things and energies a lot. Maybe we see things that an adult can not see. Our imagination is huge and wide open! "Then life happens", says Roger. And this is where Roger gets his tools. He is explaining how he was listening to the adults in my life and how he adapted their point of views of how I should be and behave. This is how he got the tools to actually keep me safe.

He learned how to tell me when I had to be quiet, so that I would not get into more trouble. He was the one who pushed me in work life, so that I could have more success. He was the one who pushed me and kept on pushing me, so that I could fit in more. He really, truly thought that this would be the best for me. He did his level best to protect me from the outside world. His love towards me was so huge and he wanted me to be safe.

Now I can see tears in his eyes. He is so sorry for all these years of pushing me and forcing me to do the things that were against Victoria's guidance. He feels it deep in his being too. But I tell him that I understand. That he has actually done a great job, because I would not be here without him! I wouldn't be so wise and powerful without any of these events. So I hug him, I tell him that I love him deeply and I want him to forgive himself. It is time to do this.

We are a great team now and Roger says that this is true. His job is still keep me safe for sure, but now it is a co-operation with Victoria and Cynthia. And now this whole crew is telling me to focus on joy! This is where the beauty lies.

When we crow up, life gets hard and things start to happen. Not always easy and nice. And so the light of the laughter maybe gets less. I have always had this child like joy inside of me and I have always laugh a lot. As adults our sense of humor sometimes gets twisted and we end up getting our joy in the expense of others. We laugh when someone gets hurt. Or we do nasty prank to someone and we get the laughter out of this. But all this is having a very low vibration. This is "the old". It is also very often that we adults think that if we are having child like fun, we are not being responsible. Victoria is reminding me that this is absolutely not true.

She is telling me to find my joy in innocence. "Like when you were a small girl. Like on Saturday", she says. Oh yeah! We were having our own disco here in the house. We were listening to nice songs and we were dancing and dancing for hours! It was so much fun! How the music can just free your mind so totally!

And then I got my Tarot cards and how I love to play with them. Or if I go out to the woods and I see the beauty of the nature at this time. All the colors and the freshness of the air. Or when I meet a dog. This sincere meeting where they just come to me these days. It is like my energy is pulling them in, because they know. They sense that this one is all about love.

And so my team wants me to focus on joy. Anything and everything that brings me happiness. "This is something that will keep your vibration high", says Cynthia. "Yes, things are starting to move forward this week and this is why you will need your higher perspective on things", continues Victoria. "This is exciting, it is what we have been waiting for, but it also can be overwhelming", says Roger. "But I am here and I got your back", Roger continues.

Whoooh, I think. This is it. This is what I have been "working" towards all these months. Even years. And now it is finally knocking on my door. I feel my heart beating. I feel the excitement. I am happy and scared at the same time. This is big! I feel it in my whole body.

"Trust my whispers", says Victoria. "Keep focusing on joy and keep your vibration high. This is the time where you have to be very conscious about this. We are here and we will go through this transition together. You will know what to do. Trust your wisdom. Trust us."

And so I let go of any control and expectations. Things that are meant to me will flow in as they are supposed to. Even though I am nervous and a bit scared (because again, this is big!), I keep on breathing and for sure, I will keep on focusing on my joy. This is why I came here. To earth. I know I am now, finally, in front of it. And I feel my whole crew giggling beside me. We did it!

I AM ALREADY LIVING MY DREAM

As you know, I love fairy tails. Maybe you remember the story about the fisherman who was living in the coast of Brazil. Well, since this is my blog, I will transfer this story to Africa, my second home.

So there was a fisherman called Lamin. He was so happy with his everyday life with the small that he had. At least he was able to go to the sea everyday and catch some fish and later he was enjoying the meal with his friends. Lamin is very relaxed, content, outgoing, chill person. No complaining, just enjoying his everyday life.

And then this businessman from Europe, lets call him Patrik, comes for a holiday. He sits with Lamin and wants to join Lamin for a fishing trip. For the whole two weeks these two spend days together. At the end of his holiday Patrik asks Lamin, why he is not doing more marketing, so that he would maybe grow his business much bigger. Since Patrik is a businessman, his aim is to help Lamin to get more customers and this way more money of cause. Patrik says that after a while, you might even have something like five boats!

Lamin is quietly listening to Patrik and allows him to share his point of views. Then he asks a question from Patrik. "So what comes after that? After all this business expansion and money, what comes after that?" "Well, then you can have more free time to do the things that you love to do", answers Patrik. "Isn't that what I am already doing?", asks Lamin.

How many million people are still living their lives from outside in? How many of them are still looking for happiness from outside and never "getting there"? How many million people are still pleasing others and then suffering inside because of that? How many million people are not happy in their current situations: in their jobs, in their relationships, in their work, in their bodies? How many million.... not understanding that there has to be peace in your heart first.

So, today this story came to my mind. Yesterday I wrote about my transformation journey and the process of change that is going on. I was chatting on the phone today with my good friend and she reminded me of this simple truth: YOU ARE ALREADY LIVING YOUR DREAM. For a moment I was quiet, because until today I really did not understand this. I still had this mind of "When I am out of my home town, I will be happy. When I get to do what I love, I will be happy. When I get my dream relationship, I will be happy". But now, suddenly I understand everything. I am finally whole! Everything is already inside of me. Oh my, am I already living my dream?!?!

So I called in my crue, Victoria (my higher self), Cynthia (my god fairy) and Roger (my ego). We decided to have a chat about this revelation I had today. Victoria says to me "isn't it so interesting how through out this awakening journey, we have talked about working from inside out. Changing your inner world, so that you can change your outer world into more supporting, loving and into more authentic. But today, you Saija, were able to understand this all the way in your core". Yes, for sure, I replay. Since I have been under Roger's guidance for so long, it has taken me this long to finally understand what it means when you hear the phrase "Nothing outside of you can make you happy." This is so true!

Roger was the one that, "in the old life", wanted bigger cars, better clothes. He was the one who was asking me to come out in public and share my journey. Okey, maybe Victoria and Cynthia had something to do with this too, so let's not put all the blame on Roger. Roger, I love you :o)!

But all this focus on things outside of me actually never made me truly happy. And now don't get me wrong. Of cause I was happy, but now I am talking about this deep, inner happiness, that is hard to explain, if you have not felt it.

Anyway. Today as my friend was reminding me.... I am truly living my dream life, because nothing outside of me can not define me anymore. Nothing. Now I don't have those limiting fears that used to kept me awake in the night. Fears about the money, fears about not being excepted, fears of not being good enough, fears of not being in control. Fear of not doing enough, the fear of being lazy. Fear of eating correctly. Fear of getting weight. Fear of not having the perfect body, if I don't exercise all the time. Fear of getting wrinkles. Fear of not getting validation from others. Fear of not being liked. And then we have this ancient phrase: "Well, the fact is that we need money in order to survive here". Oh my, how many times I have said that out loud! So many fears. Oh, so many!

Cythia is reminding me, that of cause we all have fears, but the thing is, they are not stopping me anymore. I don't need anyone's approval to create. I don't need likes in Facebook. I don't need anybody's permission and confirmation, if I want to do something. I just do it. I eat what I like. I go out if I want and don't if I don't feel like it. I don't need to post anything anymore to social media unless I truly feel the call. I am happy by myself. Like my friend so wisely said, when I am having a blissful day, it has nothing to do with the outside world. This is very hard to explain. But the joy, the happiness, it just is. I don't need to buy a new sweater for that or please anyone to get it. I am that joy! This is so amazing!

I know now what does it mean to "go with the flow". I know what surrendering means. I am totally detached from everything and everybody. No need to control anything or anyone. No jealousy or fear of getting rejected. I understand this life from a more bigger point of view and I respect everything in this earth and beyond. I don't have not one single judgement in my mind towards anyone or anything. I clearly see now that everything and I mean everything has a reason. I know that we are all connected. I don't do anything I don't want. I only create when I feel the flow, not by force. I don't have to shout out to the world anymore that I am here. No selfies. I accept myself fully without any judgement what so ever. I respect all my talents, wisdom and uniqueness. I fully accept my "bad days" and good days. I don't throw my shit on anyone anymore. I see the beauty of every soul in this earth. But the most biggest thing of all..... I finally, at least in some extend, understand what unconditional love is. It is huge, beautiful and so powering! And now, I am free! I AM FREE!

So, all four of us agree, that it might look like nothing has changed and yet, everything has. But it is all about the inner change. I am already living my dream. Now it is just about enjoying this new, creative freedom that I have. This inner power and knowledge. The joy that now comes out in a good day is something that I have not ever experienced before. It is so amazing!

And here is where we end this story today. Today is surely a very high energy day. I feel dizzy and a bit light headed, but it is all well. I will drink water and get grounded with my home exercise later. But now, I just want to enjoy this huge, powerful feeling: "I HAVE FINALLY CREATED MY DREAM LIFE FOR MYSELF!" What ever comes on top of this, is just a big plus!

LOVELY VICTORIA

Today I want to introduce to you the gorgeous Victoria. She is my higher self or inner guide or the voice of my intuition. She is saying that all these descriptions are perfect!

Where does the name Victoria come from? She says that she chose this name, because we have been so victorious. We have gone to hell and back in this awakening journey and we are still facing some challenges, since there is another change going on, from the old to the new. So this is how she came out with the name of Victoria and I must say that I love the name.

For many years I did not consciously know that she was around. I was so busy with my life and doing doing, that I never gave her a change to be heard. Well, this is not completely true, since she has been always guiding me, I just didn't know it. She knew that I had to go through the lessons that life threw at me, but it doesn't mean that this was easy to her. She suffered as I suffered.

This was the time in my life when Roger (my ego) was totally in charge. Now we are in a whole new reality where Roger is still around for sure, but he is not driving the car anymore. Victoria is. She has taken the lead, so that I can finally learn what unconditional love is and so that I can finally find my way into more fulfilling life. She is helping me to find my true self too. Big job she has, doesn't she?

Me and Victoria had a chat today. I am in this life transformation journey at the moment, so I needed to ask her advice on something. The thing is that lately I have been watching all kinds of videos and energy reports in order to get some ideas where I am heading and when. I can see that sometimes "the old spiritual lessons" tell you to think positive or your manifestations don't come true. Victoria has tried to whisper to me, that this is not true, but since I am stubborn, I haven't really paid that much attention to her whispers. Until now.

So I sat down and called her to come to me. I was explaining my feelings to her and that when I watch these videos, I sometimes get huge anxiety. These old teachings also sometimes make me feel that I am doing something wrong, because I still don't have the answers that I am looking for and because I am not yet where I want to be.

So she came to me and we had a chat. "Love", she said. "Remember that you are in charge of your life. No one else. No matter how everybody else are living their lives, don't compare yourself to anybody. Why? Because there is nobody else who is you. So only you can know what is best for you".

We end up talking about change and how the process goes. Because it is a process. She gave me a good point of view. "When you are in a working place or in a relationship and suddenly something starts to feel like it is not aligned anymore, you first notice it. Then the change process starts. Through out this change process you have to go through many feelings. Mostly fears."

She continues. "As you start to feel that the situation, no matter what it is, is not serving you anymore, the first thing you might feel is anxiety. If you are not feeling any negative feelings, there is no need for change. This is why they are so important. Also you might start to feel feelings of unhappiness, not being fulfilled, lack of interest, tiredness, lack of creativity, lack of joy and feeling like you don't belong. All this is normal and it is just a part of the change that is unfolding."

"Let me give you an example", she says. "Let's say that you want to end up your relationship. Your feelings don't die just like that. You still feel love towards the person you might have spend years with, but maybe not the same way as before. So you go through these feelings of you don't want to hurt anyone, what are you going to do if you leave, how and where you are going to live and survive and so on. Maybe you still want to give this relationship multiple changes before you are ready to let go. And there are always people that are left behind when a relationship ends. These are big big things and they can not be solved in a week or even a month! So you see, these are all part of the process and this is why I say, that it takes time. All these feelings are teaching you something about you and this is so very important. This is why we are here in this life too. To learn. So you see. The process of change can not happen over night."

I was very quiet and I gave this a minute and I have to say that she is very correct. I am going through a huge change. The old circle is closed almost and I know that I am in front of something new. What I know at the moment is, that I am getting ready to move. That is all I know. When and where, this is the info that Victoria has not given me yet. Why I ask her.

"Love, because you need time. You have never been the person that you are now. You have been so brave in this journey and now you are facing the biggest change of your life. You have left your family and most of your friends. You need to get over this. You have a daughter and a grandson and I know you love them so much. So you need time to have the courage to leave them in order to move on. This is not easy. You need to face all your fears when it comes to money and the unknown. So I am just allowing this time for you to deal with all of this and also to learn from this. You are learning more about YOU every day! That is all that is going on".

Again I sit quiet and think about her words and I have to say, that she is so wise. Roger (my ego) would be ready to just go! He is pushing me forward, and for sure, this also is a good thing, but instead of pushing, I now understand, that I have to go with the flow. I have to allow Victoria to be in charge as she has been for years now. She knows what she is doing and she will give me answers when the time is right.

"Remember love that don't allow anyone to tell you how to feel. No manifestation can ever pass you by. Ever! No matter what you do. Just do you. It is very important that you are authentic even when you are feeling anxiety or stress. This is the most important part of this process! Those feelings are all part of this process. How much damage you would do to yourself, if you would try to deny your feelings, no matter what they are. You are a human being with human emotions. Yes, you have a high consciousness level, but your soul journey is not about meditating in the mountains for your whole life. Maybe in that case your soul journey would include learning how to "get out of" these negative feelings. But. You are here to experience human life WITH this high consciousness and this includes your feelings. Someone else might have a different soul journey. This is why it is so important NOT to compare yourself with others. And just remember, that eventually there will come a day when I will let you know what to do and where we go and then you are ready for it. Until then all you have to do, is to be you".

Phiuh, I sigh. What a relief! Because it is not easy to be in a situation where nothing is serving you anymore. So there must be days when I feel lazy, I don't want to go out that much and when I feel stuck. "Love, you can never be stuck. It is all about timing, that's all. This is something I want to remind you about", she says. Oh, thank you. That is true.

This is the process of change. Some days you feel like you are in the top of the world and some days are less easy. But this is how this process goes. I don't want to fight it anymore. After all, in the big picture, I have everything I need and every day is energetically different. "Love, this is a good point", Victoria says. "We have to remember, that not only are you going through a massive change, but we are also part of the cosmos. Part of the Universe and what ever is going on there, it must also affect you. Not only are you feeling your own feelings, but you feel the collective energies, the energies of others and the frequency of Mother Earth and she is flying high these day", she laughs. Oh yeah baby, this is huge!

And so I go on. Moment by moment. Minute by minute. I let go of all the teachings of others and go back to my center where my power lies. Where Victoria takes care of me and is in contact with my guides at all times. And of cause I have Roger and Cynthia too. So I am safe and well taken care of. Now us four (me, Victoria, Roger and Cynthia) will open up Netflix, I will take my candies and we will choose a nice children's movie to watch. Anxiety or not, big changes or not, at the moment it seems, that in our kingdom, all is well. I am well protected and I am loved big time!