PATIENCE REQUIRED
For months and months now I have been in a situation where nothing is moving. Or it is moving, but not in a way that I am used to. I am living this quiet life by myself. I haven't been in Facebook or any social media for a long time now and it feels great. I never understood how big is the effect of them in my life. It is just that all of a sudden every time I went there to see the posts, I didn't feel good. Actually, surfing in the social media made me feel worse and worse. This was so weird for me, because I used to enjoy seeing how my friends were doing and seeing their pictures. Now, totally opposite. I felt like nothing was real. Masks. No. And masks are not for me anymore. I go for authenticity. But, the thing is, as I am not surfing in the social media, I have a lot of free time in my hands. Oh, and no TV. I sold it. So now it is all about "back to the basics".
Oh my, patience! As a child how patience are we? As we grow up, we may learn this skill. Or not. I have never been very patient. When an idea comes, I need to go for it straight away. Even if all the details are not figured out yet. I always have had this child like trust that everything will work out. No need to wait and plan. Now I feel different. I am creating the rest of my life and for the first time, there is no rush. There is patience. It is required at this time. Because this is big! This is life changing for me. And so I need to allow things to unfold in divine timing.
Roger (my ego) tries to keep on pushing me forward. He says that this kind of staying still, is not good for me. "Saija, you need to do something", he says. "You can not just sit inside your house and watch Netflix 24/7. It is not good for you. You need to go out. You need to find a job. You need to see your friends, go out and have fun!", he continues.
Victoria (my higher self) says "It's okey to just be for now. You are not missing nothing. This is what self love is. Listening to yourself and if you don't feel it, don't do it. It is about trusting the process and having faith that everything that is meant for you, will come to you. So you are doing a great job love!"
I listen to both of them and I am again so grateful that they are here with me. But right now, I am listening to little Saija. What does she want? For too long she has been abandoned and not been seen or heard. More lately yes, but still big Saija needs to learn to listen and see this little girl even more. Her energy is so beautiful, joyful and light. She doesn't have these fears that big Saija has. She is not scared to laugh or to play. Little Saija just does it.
And so I ask her what is it that she wants. And she answers that she wants someone to play with her. That she feels alone. She wants to be surrounded with people who actually see her and accept her as she is. Unconditional love. So we take a imaginary trip to the future. We start to create our own fairy tale.
"I am sitting in my terrace and I am enjoying my morning coffee. Inside the house I can hear my husband making eggs for me and him. I am enjoying the view of the nature. I am listening the voices of the animals and my husband. I just love him so much! He is just everything I ever dreamed of. He is kind, loving, supportive, full of laughter and wisdom. We have our "bad days", but instead of fighting, we talk. This is something I have never experienced before and I love it. This feeling of safety that I have now. Because my husband is so in his own power and he takes responsibility of his own process, there is no need to fight and shout anymore. But to talk and take a step back if needed. I don't need to feel insecure, because he is showing me his love in so many ways.
I hear my phone ringing inside the house. I run inside and answer it. It is Oprah. She wants me to come to the show and talk about the new ways of spirituality. She wants me to share the wisdom that I have gained in my journey. We set up a date for a meeting and my husband comes from the kitchen. I tell him that we will be taken to Chicago after one week. We start to laugh and jump up and down. Unbelievable! We are going to Oprah show! Huge, huge dream come true!
But today. Today we are going to a school where we are, together, going to talk about self love and self empowerment for the youngsters. We want to share our perspective on how we learned to face our fears and how we learned to love ourselves. And from there each other. We are so excited to do this. And nervous at the same time.
Life has been interesting for us ever since we met. We decided to sell almost all our possessions and we bought this caravan. Now we have our home always with us and we can park it in these most beautiful places! We move the caravan when we want to and stay as long as we feel. We are so living in the moment! We both just absolutely love it!
We have been making money for a long time now and we are doing well. Still, we want to keep our living very simple and close to the nature. The only thing that I wanted was a good toilet and shower. We love this life style so much and the caravan is easy to park when ever we are taken to interviews and our lectures all over the world. We are so totally the citizens of the world! No limits!
We only have a hand full of good friends and we normally go and have dinner together as often as we can. We love those moments! We are finally surrounded by people where we just are. No demands, no expectations, no guilt, no people pleasing. Just total acceptance.
My husband has his own hobbies as I do have mine. He has his own friends and things he likes to do. But he also loves to be home with me. We laugh a lot and yes, we have sex a lot! We are sharing this sense of humor together and when we are keeping our talks in the schools, we do it with lightness and with joy. We kind of have come back to the child like energy and now we don't care what others think of this. We just enjoy life and it's small gifts that we are seeing and experiencing every day. We are doing the things that we came to this earth to do and we are so honored to be part of this change in the world. Our love is changing the people we meet. It is changing us. We could have never ever believed that this is possible. Not in a million years!
so I finally have someone to play with. And one of my biggest dreams is about to come true, because I have just given my first fairy tail book to adults to the publisher. What more can I ask for?!"
I tell to Victoria and Roger that I love this fairy tail! It sounds so beautiful! For sure, after letting go of so many things and people, it would be so nice to experience something like this. A dream life. Where there is no "one land is your home", but the whole world is the playground!
Victoria says "Love, everything is possible. You just have to be patience. That's all. It is because of this dream, you have gone through this inner journey. "the old Saija" with all of her fears could have never ever enjoyed this kind of dream even if it would have come true, because she would have found trouble even the smallest thing. Why? Because of the fears. Of getting abandoned, of getting rejected, of not being good enough, of not being powerful enough, of not being beautiful enough. Now you know better, don't you. Anything is possible, just remember this."
And so I keep on daydreaming of this, because deep inside of me, I know. I know so many things even though nothing is showing up in the outside world. But here comes that patience again. There has been many things that big Saija had to learn along this journey, patience too. But this is also something, this patience, that little Saija has to learn now. And she is okey with it. She is in big Saija's arms and together they are traveling towards this dream. And we will get there. When all the peaces of the puzzle are ready. When the divine timing is right. Until then, we practice patience.
Oh my, patience! As a child how patience are we? As we grow up, we may learn this skill. Or not. I have never been very patient. When an idea comes, I need to go for it straight away. Even if all the details are not figured out yet. I always have had this child like trust that everything will work out. No need to wait and plan. Now I feel different. I am creating the rest of my life and for the first time, there is no rush. There is patience. It is required at this time. Because this is big! This is life changing for me. And so I need to allow things to unfold in divine timing.
Roger (my ego) tries to keep on pushing me forward. He says that this kind of staying still, is not good for me. "Saija, you need to do something", he says. "You can not just sit inside your house and watch Netflix 24/7. It is not good for you. You need to go out. You need to find a job. You need to see your friends, go out and have fun!", he continues.
Victoria (my higher self) says "It's okey to just be for now. You are not missing nothing. This is what self love is. Listening to yourself and if you don't feel it, don't do it. It is about trusting the process and having faith that everything that is meant for you, will come to you. So you are doing a great job love!"
I listen to both of them and I am again so grateful that they are here with me. But right now, I am listening to little Saija. What does she want? For too long she has been abandoned and not been seen or heard. More lately yes, but still big Saija needs to learn to listen and see this little girl even more. Her energy is so beautiful, joyful and light. She doesn't have these fears that big Saija has. She is not scared to laugh or to play. Little Saija just does it.
And so I ask her what is it that she wants. And she answers that she wants someone to play with her. That she feels alone. She wants to be surrounded with people who actually see her and accept her as she is. Unconditional love. So we take a imaginary trip to the future. We start to create our own fairy tale.
"I am sitting in my terrace and I am enjoying my morning coffee. Inside the house I can hear my husband making eggs for me and him. I am enjoying the view of the nature. I am listening the voices of the animals and my husband. I just love him so much! He is just everything I ever dreamed of. He is kind, loving, supportive, full of laughter and wisdom. We have our "bad days", but instead of fighting, we talk. This is something I have never experienced before and I love it. This feeling of safety that I have now. Because my husband is so in his own power and he takes responsibility of his own process, there is no need to fight and shout anymore. But to talk and take a step back if needed. I don't need to feel insecure, because he is showing me his love in so many ways.
I hear my phone ringing inside the house. I run inside and answer it. It is Oprah. She wants me to come to the show and talk about the new ways of spirituality. She wants me to share the wisdom that I have gained in my journey. We set up a date for a meeting and my husband comes from the kitchen. I tell him that we will be taken to Chicago after one week. We start to laugh and jump up and down. Unbelievable! We are going to Oprah show! Huge, huge dream come true!
But today. Today we are going to a school where we are, together, going to talk about self love and self empowerment for the youngsters. We want to share our perspective on how we learned to face our fears and how we learned to love ourselves. And from there each other. We are so excited to do this. And nervous at the same time.
Life has been interesting for us ever since we met. We decided to sell almost all our possessions and we bought this caravan. Now we have our home always with us and we can park it in these most beautiful places! We move the caravan when we want to and stay as long as we feel. We are so living in the moment! We both just absolutely love it!
We have been making money for a long time now and we are doing well. Still, we want to keep our living very simple and close to the nature. The only thing that I wanted was a good toilet and shower. We love this life style so much and the caravan is easy to park when ever we are taken to interviews and our lectures all over the world. We are so totally the citizens of the world! No limits!
We only have a hand full of good friends and we normally go and have dinner together as often as we can. We love those moments! We are finally surrounded by people where we just are. No demands, no expectations, no guilt, no people pleasing. Just total acceptance.
My husband has his own hobbies as I do have mine. He has his own friends and things he likes to do. But he also loves to be home with me. We laugh a lot and yes, we have sex a lot! We are sharing this sense of humor together and when we are keeping our talks in the schools, we do it with lightness and with joy. We kind of have come back to the child like energy and now we don't care what others think of this. We just enjoy life and it's small gifts that we are seeing and experiencing every day. We are doing the things that we came to this earth to do and we are so honored to be part of this change in the world. Our love is changing the people we meet. It is changing us. We could have never ever believed that this is possible. Not in a million years!
so I finally have someone to play with. And one of my biggest dreams is about to come true, because I have just given my first fairy tail book to adults to the publisher. What more can I ask for?!"
I tell to Victoria and Roger that I love this fairy tail! It sounds so beautiful! For sure, after letting go of so many things and people, it would be so nice to experience something like this. A dream life. Where there is no "one land is your home", but the whole world is the playground!
Victoria says "Love, everything is possible. You just have to be patience. That's all. It is because of this dream, you have gone through this inner journey. "the old Saija" with all of her fears could have never ever enjoyed this kind of dream even if it would have come true, because she would have found trouble even the smallest thing. Why? Because of the fears. Of getting abandoned, of getting rejected, of not being good enough, of not being powerful enough, of not being beautiful enough. Now you know better, don't you. Anything is possible, just remember this."
And so I keep on daydreaming of this, because deep inside of me, I know. I know so many things even though nothing is showing up in the outside world. But here comes that patience again. There has been many things that big Saija had to learn along this journey, patience too. But this is also something, this patience, that little Saija has to learn now. And she is okey with it. She is in big Saija's arms and together they are traveling towards this dream. And we will get there. When all the peaces of the puzzle are ready. When the divine timing is right. Until then, we practice patience.
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