WHAT AND WHY

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves."

And this is it. If I really want to create a change in the world, I will start with myself. If I truly want to create my own fairytale that is based on authenticity, flow, joy, unconditional love, respect, inner peace, freedom and lightness, the change has to start from within. 

If I can create a state of mind and being where nothing, absolutely nothing from outside of me, can't shake my inner peace and joy, I have to do the inner work. Anything outside of me can be lost or taken from me, so the "joy" can be short lived. But when I have the whole world inside of me, no one can touch it, steel it and it can never be lost once it is found. 

So in this blog I share my thoughts about my healing. The inner change that I am going through.

For me, this is a journey where I am getting to know me. The true me. Who I was before the world got its hands on me with it's beliefs, fears and events. I am learning who am I without tittles or roles. 

This is about getting empty from the old and heavy, so that my authentic self can emerge. It is about questioning everything I have ever been taught by my family, my society, my teachers, my religion, the gurus, the books I have read, the social media I follow and so on. 

It is about feeling those feelings I was suppressing for so long. Allowing myself to feel it all. Accepting and feeling all the shit that happenned to me, all the pain and hurt. And also feeling the pain I have caused to others. Healing them, so that I don't have to carry them anymore: the pain, the guilt, the shame. It is about forgiveness and release. It is about unlearning so many patterns and behaviors that have been self-destructive. 

Creating my own fairytale is about stepping into my own power and asking myself the question "what does it look like to me if I am in my own power?" 

It is about learning to trust my own truth and accepting that others might have different truth. It is about becoming my own guru and forsaking all others. I have always had this knowing that I am a leader, not a follower. 

This journey is about growing my conscious level to new hights. When you are awake, when you are conscious, you can not be manipulated in any way. Not by adds in the social media, not by people, not by coverments or religions. You see things in a totally new light. You see this world in a totally new light. You see yourself in a totally new light. It is about getting lighter, having more trust, living in a state of flow. We are here to create and to have fun. 

Most of all, it is about selflove. Selfrespect, self-worth and self support. It is about commiting to myself fully. Dareing to put myself first. It is about taking full responsibility for myself and my life. No more blaiming others. No more people pleasing (and this is a big one!!). No more playing small. No more thinking that somebody else would know better what I should do or how I should feel. No more looking for validation from outside of me. 

This is about freedom. True freedom doesn't come "from outside", it is a state of mind. Sure, money helps, but it can be easily taken from me. But when my mind is free, I am free. So inner journey is also about braking the barriers of my own mind. 

I don't want to suffer, survive and struggle, but I want to thrive! I don't see it yet as I look at my life right now and that is my the god honest truth, but I truly trust and believe that my life WILL be easy and fun! 

So, I started to write this blog as a diary for myself. This journey is lonely, painful, hard and heavy, so I wanted to do something different. Make it more lighter some how. And also bring out the joyful, playful Saija. Allowing her to play and create just, because it is fun! Not for money, not to get followers, not for fame, but purely for fun. And I just loooove writing!

And this is how I came up with the idea of naming and giving characters to my higher self (or my soul, my heart if you will) and my ego. Victoria and Roger. I never know what comes out when I sit to write. I am kind of channelling Victoria, if you will. My soul, Victoria, always sees things from a higher perspective in a way, me and Roger can't. Learn more about my crew here: MEET MY CREW

So I hope you get something out of these writings. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me. I am here to create my own fairytale and I am here cheering you to do the same!

With big hugs,

Saija 😇