In Finnish: Mitä ja miksi - Koska täydellinen oli tylsää!
If you haven't read my story yet, you can find it here:
In this blog I share my insights, thoughts and reflections as I am going through my inner journey.
I am finding out how to create my own fairytale life from the inside out.
And I love writing. If I can not talk to someone to get clarity, I write. Through writing I also express my creative side.
This blog is about me stepping into my own inner power, my own truth, my own life rhythm. It is about authenticity. Old me lived entirely from the mind, but now I live from my heart. The old me followed what I had learned from others, but now I follow my own inner guidance and truth.
I have always loved fairytales and cartoons and I deeply love my inner child - little Saija, who loves to play, have fun, and laugh! As we know, healing can be incredibly hard, intense, and at times, very lonely. There are some parts of this journey no one can walk through for you.
But in order to make things a little bit lighter, and also to play with my creativity, I named my soul (my heart, my higher self) and my ego. This is how Victoria (my soul) and Roger (my ego) were born.
So, sometimes when I write, I write from Victoria's point of view. Or from Roger's.
First, a little bit about VICTORIA, my higher self. She is the voice of my heart, my inner wisdom, and my inner guidance. She can always see the bigger picture. She is my connection to the Universe. She knows how to follow and flow with the energies around us. She is the one who turns our life lessons into this magical inner wisdom. She is kind, wise, and has a huge heart filled with compassion and empathy for all living beings.
Her attitude towards me is truly unconditional. She never judges me. She knows what I have been through in this life and how much courage it takes to keep going on this inner healing journey. That is why she looks at me with pure awe. She is my biggest fan!
Next, a little bit about ROGER, my ego. He used to control my life. He was so loud, harsh, and critical. Don't think for one second that he gave up his driver's seat to Victoria easily! Oh no! It took a long time before he was ready to step aside. I think that this healing journey has been the toughest on him, because he only knows the old ways of being. Roger needs to know, force, control, plan, and then act. He could only act through our conditioning, fears, inner pain, beliefs, and immaturity.
But he is also very brave, and very kind—and he used to know a million ways to confuse me! He was our ultimate drama queen! Yet, without Roger, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
PIRRE was the name of my inner critic. When I started to heal my inner critic, my therapist advised me to name her and allow her voice to be fully heard. And so I did. It made a huge difference!
The way I used to beat myself up, was from another world - truly hardcore.
By giving names (Victoria, Roger and Pirre) to the core parts of my being, I found it so much easier to see things from an outside perspective—making it feel less personal, if I can put it that way.
Pirre is—or actually, was—quite a character! She was the one who blamed me for everything and judged me in ways I can't even believe anymore. I was never good enough or pretty enough. I always said or did something wrong. She was the one who wanted me to be perfect and do more, more, more!
Little by little, she started to fade away, and now she is nothing more than a distant memory. RIP Pirre!
So, as you can see, this blog is about my healing, my inner shifts and changes, my growth, and my path toward true freedom. It is about big Saija finally giving little Saija all the things we used to look for on the outside: love, attention, validation, permission, advice, safety, happiness, peace, and joy. Just to mention a few.
Someone once said that this inner journey is not a 100-meter sprint; it is a marathon.
And they were absolutely right.
With big hugs,
Saija 😇
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