Sometimes in life, you end up in a period of complete emptiness. Nothing happens. The days are identical, purely routine.
I have no ideas about the future. No clear picture whatsoever of what to do next. Where to even start. Deep down, I already know that everything external is misaligned with who I am, but I have no idea how to resolve the situation. I can't get a grip on my future.
I have been in this situation for years now. Before, it used to bring up anxiety and frustration. But the more time passes, the more I accept the fact that I know nothing about anything.
In this world of doing, we humans are used to the idea that we "must move forward at all times." Do more, improve, change, grow bigger. We have been conditioned to believe that you cannot stay still—instead, you need to "roll up your sleeves" and make it happen!
By no means are we allowed to just stay put and enjoy what we have already achieved!
But what happens when all the change in my life has actually been happening from the inside out? Externally, I have absolutely nothing to show for it, but internally, I could have earned a thousand diplomas for my inner work. This world doesn't recognize this kind of internal "labor." I have yet to come across the Emmy Awards for inner healing.
You cannot force this kind of limbo to move externally. Everything happens when it happens. We talk about this phase in human life far too little, even though the truth is that every single one of us will have to go through it at some point. And it’s not limited to just one time—these periods will occur multiple times.
You look for a job, but nothing bites. What can you do? You can’t force things to happen, can you?
These phases in life are frustrating, and that is why I allow myself to feel every emotion that arises within me because of it. I am sick and tired of clichés like "think positively" or "think of one small step you can take to start creating the change you want."
Well, sometimes you just don't know what to do. It is completely human. But not accepted in the eyes of the world.
After fighting against this situation for a while, I decided to accept it fully. I decided to honor this phase of my life, too, because this—if anything—is the perfect opportunity to learn more about myself, my reactions, and to let go of old ways of operating.
The empty space is totally okay. It is completely okay. I don't always have to know, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with me if I don't. Sometimes frustration wins, and that is okay too. Sometimes I get annoyed and stomp my feet, and that is normal too! It is incredibly hard for a former control freak to live and exist in a situation where it feels like nothing is in my hands.
But sometimes creativity just doesn't flow. Sometimes my heart just doesn't speak, and no amount of meditation can change that. Sometimes there is nothing else to do but breathe. Breathe and accept the situation. Accept that today I am completely falling apart, but the next day feels lighter and I feel calm and content once again. All of this is NORMAL!
I don't really know why we are always supposed to be doing so well? Why haven't we been taught that life is full of challenges and it brings all kinds of things our way—whether because of us or regardless of us? Why haven't we been taught how to face these challenges? Why on earth have we been taught that we aren't doing well in life if we temporarily live in this kind of "limbo"?
Why is all success measured only by external merits?
I remember when I got the idea to establish Villa Freedom (my yoga studio). I looked for a commercial space for two (2) years! The right space simply didn't come along, and there was no way I could force the right place to appear on my timeframe.
I suffered and got frustrated thousands of times. I went to view dozens of spaces. And even though I desperately wanted to get out of this "limbo," my heart said NO every single time. This is not the right place.
Fortunately, I listened to my inner guidance, even though it wasn't easy. Who knows what kind of mess I would have ended up in if I had acted out of my impatience!
One evening, a friend of mine urged me to open my computer and go through the commercial real estate listings one more time. And then suddenly, after two years of searching, there it was. Just from seeing the pictures, I knew instantly: this is it. And that's how it went. According to some universal timing.
Another time, I remember living in the "waiting room" for well over a year. I came to Finland from the Gambia because my heart guided me to do so. However, the whole time, I didn't feel very at home in my own home country. I was alone a lot and continued my inner work. For some reason, my inner spark always disappears when I'm in Finland. So my state of mind wasn't very good; I started gaining weight, and I just wanted to leave. Back to Africa. Yet, my heart wouldn't speak. No guidance came.
Until the day arrived when I felt that something big was coming. I didn't know what I was feeling at the time, but it later turned out to be Covid.
So first, I felt that this "something big" was coming, and after that, a small voice inside me clearly said: "now you can book your flights back to Africa." And so I did.
I left to go back at the beginning of March, and I know nothing about the massive Covid hysteria that Europe went through. It didn't reach Africa to the same extent as it did here in Finland. For us, life was relatively normal, and there were no restrictions, apart from the airport closing.
Do you see now how the heart's guidance always happens at the right time, and how we only see in hindsight why nothing happened when "I wanted it to happen"?
So, instead of fighting against this "limbo where nothing happens," I now know how to take this phase of my life much more in stride. And I know how to gather the lessons that I gain from this stage of life.
So, I am highly intuitive, but right now, no guidance is coming. There is only complete silence. There is nothing wrong with me, and I am not doing anything wrong. The time is simply not right for the next steps. Energy is always moving forward anyway; right now, for me, it is just happening as an internal movement and change. When the time is right, the change will happen externally too.
So, if you are living through this kind of "limbo" phase, it is completely okay to feel whatever comes up. It is okay to be totally confused and frustrated. It is okay to feel like giving up. This is so normal. And once again, there is nothing wrong with me or you! It is completely normal to throw your hands up and scream: "I give up!" That is exactly what I have done now: I GIVE UP! Meaning, I surrender the reins to a power greater than myself.
When we are in this empty space, we usually say we are stuck. Because I have been conditioned to believe that I "create my own reality" and nothing is happening, I must be stuck. There must be something wrong with me. I should do more, try harder.
But there is so much more happening "behind the scenes" than we are aware of. In this puzzle called life, there are millions of pieces that we, as tiny human beings, cannot see. Every single puzzle piece must be in its right place before things move forward. That exact right person in the right place, where I arrive "by chance"—and suddenly, things start to happen.
In my vocabulary, the word "stuck" doesn't exist. In fact, my truth is that we can never be stuck. It is solely a matter of timing. Sometimes it may be that you already know what you want, but you are afraid to make the decision. And only when you make it can things move again. Until then, everything is an internal process—learning and preparing for a new phase in life.
We humans are so used to controlling things that if and when things don't go as we planned, it is a massive disappointment. We blame this and that, and of course, ourselves. But what if it turns out that in this "waiting room," your attention is needed somewhere else?
It could be that you haven't taken good enough care of yourself, and that is why the Universe is giving you this time to rest. It could be that you still have things to learn from your current situation before the forward movement can happen.
I feel that instead of forcing things to happen when the time isn't right, we could learn to honor this emptiness. This space without any forward movement. To even enjoy it.
I do what I can, and after that, I let go. I am learning to trust that things will work out, even without running myself into the ground by trying and forcing.
These empty, motionless moments say nothing about my ability to create. They say nothing about how bad I am at manifesting. They say nothing about my skills or that I have lost my inner guidance. Or my intuition.
And what if it turns out that I am being protected? Perhaps I am being protected from situations that wouldn't be good for me. Like a job I don't get. What if something even better is coming my way than what I can imagine with my limited mind? What if it's something that truly makes my heart sing?!
I just have to trust life and the timing it creates. I have to forget what others say and trust my own inner compass. I no longer listen to phrases like "things won't change by just lying on the couch." But what if that is exactly the right way for me to change things externally as well? By just being, I hear myself, and that is how I will hear the voice of my inner guidance with absolute certainty.
So, I will stay in this "waiting room" and do my best. "The doctor will call me in when it's my turn." I will know what to do when the time comes. Sometimes we just have no idea, and that is okay!
Instead, I learn more about myself and my life. I relax. Or I am a total mess. Because in the end, one night or morning I will wake up and just know. I will know exactly what to do. Life is full of surprises, and it will surprise me when I least expect it.
The most important thing is not to beat myself up for not knowing.
Yes, we are the creators of our own lives. Yes, we are powerful. And yes, our intuition is incredibly strong. But sometimes things are simply out of our hands.
Sometimes it is solely and purely a matter of timing. That's all.
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