FEW QUESTIONS

I am so happy that a few days ago I got some questions about healing. I honestly thought that no one is reading this blog, yet that I would get asked questions. I am so excited about this! So, let me try to answer the best way I can and always always remember that this is my experience and you have yours. There might be similarities and resonance, but always trust your own feelings and intuition! 

First question:

1.  Does healing always have to go so deep?

The simple answer to this is no, if it is not meant for you.

For some reason it was meant for me. For me healing started a long long time ago and it has been a gradual journey. I did not plan it to go this deep. When I started my inner journey I was convinced that I would go to therapy, deal with my inner shit and then continue my everyday life.

But somehow my inner journey just kept going. Maybe because I did commit to myself 100 % no matter what. I think the last few years my healing journey has intensified. Have I felt like WTF, I still have to dig deeper? YES! Have I felt like this is a fucking never ending journey? YES! But I followed my soul and she led me to deep healing and at some point I jumped on board fully. "Bring it on, I will dive all the way in and I will get into my real being no matter how hard and how long it takes!" My soul just took over.

Your soul journey is unique. You don’t have to go deeper into your being until and unless you are ready. And you don't need to worry about it. It will happen, if it is meant to happen. However your healing journey looks like trust, that it will be just perfect for you.

2. How am I supposed to learn how to love everybody, no matter what they are doing, unconditionally? It seems impossible!

What a good question! I love it! I have been struggling with this one too. Let me try to explain how I look at this now. In my own experience I think that that we have two ways to look at it:

1. the healthy loving abroach (new, healed way)

2. the toxic love and light (old way).

Let me try to open this concept the best way I can. Let's start with the healthy way.

I have always been very grounded with my human side. No matter how deep my healing has gone. I am not only a spirit or a soul, but a human dealing with the issues of a human. So as I went along with my healing journey I decided that to understand my inner journey better I have to look at it from a human Saija perspective and then from a soul Saija perspective.

Human Saija is here to heal her toxic traits like traumas, conditioning and beliefs. And the belief that I should only be love and light to everyone no matter what.

Soul Saija sees everything from a higher perspective. She is also the one who is connected to the earth as well as the Universe. 

When human Saija started her healing journey she needed to allow all the feelings to come out and truly start to feel them. She needed to feel all the pain, hate, anger, bitterness, sadness that was stored inside her body. For me the best way was to give faces to these feelings and those faces were the people who harmed me. And my anger, sadness and pain was valid!

I was not taking my pain out on them, but I needed to “hate” them for a while in order to heal. If at this point of my healing someone would have told me to “just love them as they are”, I would have smacked them 😀. This phase of the healing was a very important part of the journey and I allowed myself to be mad, sad and angry. Not loving at all!

After this I learned bit by bit to set clear boundaries, to forgive and how to be there for myself. I learned new values and new ways of being. I learned not to judge, but not to allow either. I learned how to protect myself and my space. I left behind people that were not good for me. I learned to forgive and forget.

Today, the human Saija part of me doesn’t accept bad behavior, disrespect, violence, arguments, cheating, lies and so on. If she sees this in a person, she walks  away. Very simple. No need to fight or argue. Just walking away and staying silent. 

Then there is soul Saija and she saw all along, not the person who hurt me, but the pain this person was carrying. She was able to see that these people were broken.

Trauma sees the person who is hurting us, healed heart sees the pain the person is carrying.

Broken people break people. Hurt people hurt people. But soul Saija saw behind this pain and she was able to see the hurt these people had gone through themselves. This is why she is able to show them empathy instead of anger and hate.

She was also able to see the bigger picture meaning that we all have our unique soul journey here on earth and that nothing happens by accident. We are meant to meet certain people and go through certain events in order to learn and develop. And soul Saija was the one who could love all these people unconditionally no matter what had happened between us. 

As I learned to love and forgive myself the way I have hurt people because of my own pain, I started to learn to forgive others. As I learned to unconditionally love "the broken parts of me", I was able to extend this love to others too.

So, as human Saija set clear boundaries, soul Saija was sending lots of love to all these people. Human Saija takes care of my inner circle and makes sure that I am dealing with people that are good, kind and supportive to me. Who are willing to grow, who take responsibility for their own inner journey and who make me grow more.

Soul Saija knows that when you truly heal yourself, you start to see the blessings of each painful situation. You start to understand that it all happened for a reason and for me that reason was to learn how to unconditionally love and support myself. And when I started to see the blessings in these events, how could I stay angry or bitter to these people who mistreated me? They are the reason I am where I am today! How could there not be just love towards these people who forced me to find my authentic self?

Then we have the second side to look at this question. The toxic pattern of love and light.

In a toxic version of “loving everybody” you allow the same people to hurt you over and over again. Or maybe it is not the same people, but the behavior patterns continue to be the same. Something like: “Why do I always pull in bad boys? Well, I will change him! With me he will finally be different”. You go back into the same kind of situations because of your own inner patterns and traumas. And instead of seeing this, you think that you can save others by loving them a little bit more and giving them millions of chances to change. You keep “loving” them no matter what they do. This is not love, this is conditioning. 

Loving everybody as they are by making excuses for their behavior, is not healthy. Allowing toxic behavior is not love, it is enabling that behavior. 

Loving everybody after healing, but from a far, is healthy. I can not change others or what they did to me, but I can change myself and set boundaries. Soul Saija sees these little girls and boys in the world that have been abused and broken ever since they were small. And as she can show love to this little girl inside of herself who was so broken, so can she show love to these other broken (adult) children, but from a far. 

By the way, even if soul Saija does not judge anyone or anything, it doesn’t mean that human Saija just accepts everything. I don’t accept hurting others, violence towards anyone and so on, I just don’t judge it.

This world is broken and it is full of all kinds of events that are hard to watch. The human side of me feels empathy and sympathy towards all of this and as a very sensitive person, I do have to distance myself from the outside world as much as I can and just keep going inwards towards my inner peace. The more I can concentrate on my own little life, the better and at peace I feel. 

Well, as with any topic, nothing is ever so black and white, but I hope I was able to give you clarity on how I see things. How I think. Please, always trust your own feelings and intuition. Whatever it is saying to you, it is always right in that moment. You are the guru of your own life and how our journeys look, is so unique. More and more we are coming out of “everybody has to think and feel the same” to uniqueness. 

Thank you so much for these questions! Loved them! Keep them coming!

Hugs,

Saija 😍