ENERGY WORK

For the longest time, I have not been able to write anything. I have had this phase of being in my own cocoon and very very selective with who I want to mingle with. Mostly, I have been alone. I have needed this time for myself in order to get to know me more better. I can say I have almost mastered this "being alone" -thing. A thing that so many people are afraid of. But today, I wanted to have a chat with my crew: Victoria (my higher self), Roger (my ego) and Cynthia (my god fairy).

I have known for the longest time that the new way of creating my reality is from inside out. This is something we are, for sure, not used to. Before everything was created from outside in. Let me explain a bit.

So before the creation (some talk about manifestation) was done from outside in. Let me give you an example what this means. Lets say that I bought a car. This gave me the feelings of happiness and joy. It gave me the feeling of easiness and freedom, because now I had an easy access everywhere I wanted to go. Now we are all (even if you are not aware of it) moving into a new way of creating. This is from inside out. Meaning, I need to find all these feelings that I used to find from outside things, inside of me first. Lets say I want a partner. What are the feelings that this would make me feel? I would feel happiness, joy, maybe safety and so on. Now, with these new energies, I have to find all these feelings from inside of me before the creation can come into reality.

Before we were chasing the happiness from outside of us and the truth is, that this happiness didn't last that long, because as we got used to this outside factor, the feeling was gone. So, we had to chase another "dream". This created this hamster wheel where the joy was lost and no amount of results after this chase, could not keep us happy for long. It just wasn't that long lasting, because THE FEELING WAS NOT GROUNDED inside of us. Now, when we create the feeling first and "that thing" we dream about comes reality, our feeling will last. So no chasing happiness from outside, because we are already happy with or without "that thing" we want to create. I hope you get me? What ever feelings we are able to create inside, no matter what is going outside of us, we are more steady with our inner world, because no outside thing can effect our inner world. This is because everything that we need and want is always with us. Inside of us. So all the external things that "manifest" outside of us, are just a great plus!

As adult I have been quite disconnected from the feelings I had as a child. From that innocence, from that joy, from that freedom of not taking things so seriously. Remembering that life is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. I was not over thinking then. I did not analyse things at all. I was not thinking what others think. I had so much imagination and creativity.

So here I am. As a child. With my crew. I am sorry about my abilities to process the pictures, but this will have to do for now. I don't have the apps to do this more better and for me, this is a good practice to get away from "being perfect". I had fun doing this and that is enough for me.

I look at this picture every day. I look at this beautiful little girl and her beautiful smile. And sometimes looking at this makes me so sad. When was it that I lost the connection to her? When was it that I lost this pure innocence and joy? All these qualities are inside of me, that is for sure! I just absolutely love her smile!!

Victoria (my higher self) sighs. She remembers these days better then me. "Love", she says. "This is why you are asked to be at the moment. Can you imagine the amount of darkness that you have adapted through out the years you have been in this earth? There are so many beliefs and feelings that need to go. If everything would go at once, you couldn't take it. So we have to do this one step at the time. But since we have been going this for a long time now, we are getting closer and closer to freedom. To the true authenticity. To the core of who you really are. This is so exiting!", she says.

I get it. I understand what she is saying. In a deeper level I understand that I am finding my true self and that I am creating now a more steady, more fulfilling and more aligned life for myself. A life that I have never had before. As I said in the beginning, life is now created from inside out. So I am asked to be patience. Again. Blaaaaah! I hate that! Cythia is giggling. She knows that this is not easy for me, because I am for sure a action oriented person. 

Actually, all three of them start to laugh. They don't want to laugh to my frustration or anger of "nothing moving forward", but...... It is funny. I have to agree. When sitting here in my house day after day, waiting for something to happen and not being okey with what is. It is like I am fighting against this invisible enemy. And that enemy is my own patterns of doing things. So I am actually fighting against myself! And this, oh yes, it is funny!

So my crew is advising me to take it easy. To allow myself to feel what ever I am feeling, "good or bad" feelings. This is something so new what I am doing that there are no instructions to this. I am learning as I go. "Maybe", Victoria says, "you could try to take some lightness into this process. Some sense of humor. Get curious. And be proud of yourself, because not only are you cleansing all that is not needed for you in the future, you are also cleansing a lot of collective energies. This is how this inner process is serving the whole world and the Universes. Because everything is, after all, energy."

"What do you mean?", I ask her. And she explains. "Well. Let me give you an practical example. Everyday you produce garbage of some sort. Like empty bottles or plastic waste. Lets call these waists as "negative" emotions, words, thoughts and actions. If you are talking to someone nicely, the energy is light and clean. No garbage is produced. But when talking to someone with hash words or using violence, this produces negative pollution to the collective energies. When you are cleansing yourself from these old patterns, negative thoughts and actions, you are actually cleansing the whole collective energy from this."

"But isn't it so, that we will always have these negative feelings?", I ask. "Yes", she replays. "But the first thing is to allow them to flow through you and this way, they are not stuck in the collective energy. But instead these so called negative energies, well, they just flow through you and disappear back to the Universes and they will be transmuted back to light. And the second thing is the action. If and when feeling anger and you take action towards another person from these energies, it creates energetic pollution. If these "negative" emotions, negative as you humans call them, are used wisely, it actually is a bit like a fuel, the energies keep their balance and the energy stays light.

So lets say you get a "negative" reaction from someone. Instead of attacking that person with hash words or your fists, you take a step back, you sit down and you allow this feeling to sink in in order for you to understand why you get reaction. And only after this, you act if you still think that a action is necessary.  Maybe then you don't need to use hash words or your fists, but you can actually say something from a place of peace, but firmness. This process is keeping the energies in balance and there is no "negative" pollution produced, because this way every action or word that is done or said, is conscious. And sometimes these "negative" emotions are exactly the fuel you need to make the changes you are supposed to make. Eventually, when more and more people are doing this, cleansing their energies, there will be no need to sit with your emotions, but all is flowing easily and without effort. No more emotional ups and downs. Do you understand?"

Yes, I actually do. There have been so many people who have treated me badly and somehow there is this inner knowing in me how to act on that. Sometimes I just pull away, nicely and quietly and sometimes I have to say something. Not nasty, but just address the matter firmly: "No, this is not okey." So yes, I get it. And this is interesting. And it is new.

And now I also get it why the new way of creating something solid, is from inside out. We are transmuting the old energy into a new, more fresh one. Into more lighter form. This is also causing the collective energy to change so, that the old ways of controlling, abuse and violence, are transmuting into new, lighter and loving ways. Into more balanced and equal ways.

So I keep on creating my own fairy tail from inside out. Protecting my fragile light energy from outside forces as much as I can. And things ARE moving forward! Maybe not in a physical way, but energetically, in a big way! I will find this child like joy that I can see in this picture. I will be able to let go of "being so serious" and allowing myself to be more goofy. Second by second, minute by minute the energy inside of me is transmuting. So the process is on 24/7 even if I don't "see or understand it". "So let it flow lovie, let it flow", says Victoria. And so I will.