CHAT WITH VICTORIA

This phase that I am at the moment, is not an easy one. I understand that something is coming to an end and something is starting, but that's about all I know. Last week I was finally able to make peace with Roger (my ego), who always wants to know more then we do. What? When and how? 

Well, right now, I just don't have the answers. Sometimes in these situations I want to have a  chat with Victoria (my soul), because when I chanel her, I get clarity and my inner peace grows more. So today, she is the star of the day and me and Roger are excited to hear what she has to say. We will be the students today.

"Hello my loves", Victoria says. "I can see that we are having an interesting meating today."

Yes, I say. The stage is yours today, so shine on. Today, you will be seen and heard for real!

"Thank you my love", she says. "I am so happy that you wanted this chat, because I can see that you are kind of "at the end of your rope", correct?", she asks.

Yes, she is right. I am exhausted! And I truly don't know why. I am not forcing or controlling anything. I am accepting things as they are. I don't judge me or the situation. I know I can never be stuck. Like my friend said: "when I know better, I will do better" and right now, this is all I know. So I think that I have done quite an amazing job, if I think about the situation I am in. 

"Yes love, you have! You are very brave! And this is not so serious as you think. You are just energetically very tired, that's all!", says Victoria. "Lets talk about this some more!"

"So my love. You are the one in your family who had the courage to start to break the traumas and patterns in your familyline. Not that no one else in your family is not doing it, but you are meant to break them all. This was and is your mission when coming here on earth. This is why, you started your therapy so many years ago. I know you never thought that this is going to go so deep, but you have a big mission my love!"

"So what happenned was that you found Gambia to be your second home, because this is where you learned more about you, but also it gave you space from Finland, so you can heal your traumas in your own pace without having your family so close to you. Only this way, you were able to start to see things more clearly when it comes to your family. Living in Gambia also gave you a taste, if you will, how it feels like to live somewhere else than in the country you were born."

"During these 14 years, you have been able to disconnect from your family, from Finland and even from Gambia. The hardest part ofcause, is to disconnect from you daughter. This is why things have been taking so long. Many years! It is not easy, because humans are so conditioned on how things should be. And you are breaking all those boxes. It is not easy to leave your family, daughter or even the country you were born, but now you are finally at the verge and I am so happy for this! You are almost ready to leave!!!"

"After 14 years traveling between two countries for years, you are finally in the last bits of this journey. Circle, if you will. All the events in Finland and in Gambia have brought you into this point. I know you are now tired of this two country system and you want something more solid. It is true that it is exhausting to always buy new furniture or find appartments, not only in one country, but two. But this is coming to an end, don't worry!"

"I want you to know, that you have done the best you can. So what I want to say is, that everything will be okey. There is absolutely nothing you could have done differently. Right now, you might not be so happy in Finland and I totally get it! It is just that sometimes it is not about us or you. It is about other components that you can not understand with your human mind."

"This situation is not a punishment, but it is because everything is not ready for you yet. But they will be soon. To be honest, I thought that we can start moving already on the fall, but things got delayd. And these are the things we can not control. Everything has to be right. This person needs to be here in the right time, so you can meet them. And then this appartment has to come available just when you are looking for one. You understand? It is a huge mix of many many things, that need to come together just in the right time."

"You know we are going. You have been packing already. Selling things. So you know. It is just when and to this one, even I can not give an answer right now. But we will have it for sure!"

"I know it is not easy when you are not energetically aligned with the place or people. It is not easy to anyone. This is why we change partners, jobs and even friends! Things change and this is normal. But you know already that you new path is open and it is being created as we speak here. Everything is moving all the time even though for you, it might not seem so. But they are!"

"You will feel alive again. You will have people around you that love and support you. You will find your place in this earth. You have done everything right all along, so let me take the burden of what and when from you shoulders and you just be. I am happy to do it."

Thank you so much Victoria! 

I do feel like I am quite calm and relaxed. Accepting. It is just that as an sensitive person, it is hard for me to be when the energy is so misaligned. Like a job. Or a relationship. When I am done, I am done. And this is how I feel now, I am done. 

Well, I guess I have to see this as a notice period. The only thing is that I don't know how long it will be. But so be it. Let me and everything else in the universe get ready and then... we will hit the road!