Creative flow is here!

I am not going to lie. Last months, even years have been tough! I never ever could have imagined that I have to go so deep within myself. How many layers of old shit I have inside of me. The wounds that I thought I already healed, keep coming back and I have to feel the pain all over again. It has been intense to say the least. 

My creativity has been totally lost. I haven't really had anything to say or write for a long time. But today the flow is here and so I call in my crew to talk about this.

"I am so happy to see you writing!", shouts Victoria. "I know this is your passion".

She is right, it is. I love writing. I have so much to share, so much experience of this healing journey, but I really haven't been able to share it lately. I also have noticed that it is very important to share your wisdom in channels that resonate with you.

"Not everybody is open to do the healing work", says Victoria. "And this is perfectly okey. Then it is not meant to be. At least not at this moment. We all have our own soul journeys and what ever is meant for you, might not be meant for someone else. This is something that has been hard for humans to understand."

I agree! I used to be the one who wanted to change people and get them into their healing process. This was my way of "saving the world". Now I know better. We can not force anyone into anything they are not ready for. My inner world savior has died. 

"This is perfect!", says Victoria. "By trying to convince others for something they are not ready for, only takes a lot of energy from you and makes you so very tired. We can only change ourselves if we are willing", she continues.

My creativity used to have a purpose. I eather needed to make money out of it or like I said, I had this thought behind my creation that it would somehow change others. Now I am in a new place. I create because I love it. It is fun and it is all for me. 

"I love this!", says Victoria. "The new way of creating is by flow. Nothing can not be forced. When the flow is there, you do it and when it is gone, you accept it and trust that it will come back when the time is right."

I totally agree. Victoria and my body, both, are so wise. They are not allowing me to create anything when I am going through "the dark night of a soul". That time is about me and my inner transformation. Not creating. All my energy goes into being, feeling and releasing. 

Something else that I also notice now is that I don't have any expectations anymore. I write because I love writing without any expectations about the outcome. There is no need for that. I don't need groups or to market, at least not for now. 

"Yes", says Victoria. "This is correct. Now it is all about energy. Who ever is meant to read you blog, will find her/his way. Things don't have to be forced or controlled anymore. This is something very new to humans. You used to have to have huge marketing campaings or thousands of followers and of cause, this is still very valid. But this is not the point. This new energy is just about creating and having fun while doing it. You do it, because it brings you joy and it is something you love to do. Where it ends up, it will be shown to you when the time is right. And sometimes you just create something just because. It just wants to come out and that's it!"

Absolutely! I agree 100 %! 

So today, I wanted to update this blog. I added texts, pages, pictures and trust me. When I woke up this morning, I didn't know, I was going to do this. I was having my breakfast and suddenly I just see myself pulling out my computer and things just started to happen!

"This is it!", says Victoria. "There is time to be and there is time to do. When you are truly in your flow, everything just happens naturaly. It just happens."

Yes yes and yes! Roger has been quet. This is how he is these days. He is watching us, listening to us and somehow being in peace with everything. He is more vocal when I am going through these lows. That is the time when he still tries to create stories, because he things it will help me to go through what I am going through. But even this job of his, is getting less and less. 

"Very soon I will be in pention!", he shouts. 

"Oh no", me and Victoria say to him. "We could never manage this life without you. It is just that your role is changing, so you now have more free time", we laugh with Victoria. 

Roger has to agree. He is my bodyguard still and always will be. He will still try to convince me that I should get back to the old ways, but at the same time he knows, that it is not possible anymore. Our crew has grown so much and the old.... Oh no, it is not where we want to go.

And so it is that I enjoy this creative flow today, because tommorrow it might be gone again. Who knows. But today, I feel lighter, not fully in pure joy yet. But maybe, just maybe, the energies in me have shifted and this lightness will keep on growing. I always knew that what I was aming for was not external, but internal. I truly belive that I can live in lightness every day, but this means that I have to be willing to sit with my dark side and allow it to melt. Not easy, but nessesary.

So we sit side by side, together, enjoying the writing, the sunshine, the lightness. At least, just for today, we have a break. A holiday from inner work and we can just enjoy for the present moment. Even when I am writing this, I feel light headed! The energy today is so high!

Thank god, I have learned to listen to myself without forcing anything anymore. I flow, allow and act when it is time. And I don't think about it, it just happens. I am very proud of myself and very thankfull that I am not affraid to share, to create, to be me and that I am more and more free from any limiting beliefs that used to stop me from creating. Today is a good day. So let the creativity to flow!