TRUE FREEDOM!

Today is all about freedom. I mean true freedom. This freedom contains all of my being: selflove, selfrespect, worthiness, inner power, intuition, heart guidance, my looks, my personality, everything! I thought that all these things were somehow seperate, but they are all covered in true freedom. How amazing! 

For the longest time, I haven't been able to write. I have needed my solitude, my privacy, because no one else can find my freedom for me. 

Today, I got a glimpse of what true freedom is about. How it feels. And wow, I am astonished!! I have never felt like this!!! And I know, that I am not fully there yet, but I am getting so close. I can feel it, I can smell it, I can almost touch it. This is such a big thing for me, that I need to talk more about this. So I gather my crew for a chat. Roger (my ego), Victoria (my higher self) and me. 

"I am so happy for you my love", says Victoria. "You so deserve this. You have been so brave and even if you wanted to give up million times, you didn't! You just kept on going! How amazing!"

Roger is quiet. For years, there has been this push and pull between him and Victoria and non of this has been easy for eather one of them. While Victoria has been calm and understanding, Roger has been having huge fits. He has been talking and talking, trying to convince me to give up and stay where I am. This all is so new to him. He knows the present moment and the old ways of being. These things he knows very well and this is why he has been defending them so much. His only job is to keep me safe and if I am not following the old ways, then how can he?! This new energy is so unknown to him. And well, to be honest, to me too. Only Victoria can fully see the bigger picture, so she is the only one who knows what she is doing. Somehow this gives me some peace and patience, when dealing with Roger's fits. 

So for the past two days, Roger has really been fighting. He (my mind/ego) has been telling all kinds of stories why I am not happy or at peace. He really puts his best effort into this. But now, at this very moment, he is quiet. I know he will try again. He doesn't give up easily, but I allow him to do this. And we all love him no matter what! He is very much needed. Now it's just all about learning new ways of being. For all of us. 

But it is time that Victoria and me, we take fully "control". This means going with the flow and trusting, not planning.

But now, I want to talk about true freedom. Why was I so scared of it?!? Because I was!!

"Love, you can never be free until you take full responsibility of your own being", says Victoria. "You humans are not used to this, because ever since the human history, there has been outside authorities who tell you how to be and how to live and if you question anything, you are not a good person. As long as you allow ANYTHING outside of you, be it the goverment, a guru, a book, god, media, family, husband, friend, anything, to tell you how to be and live, what to believe and to follow, what to fear, you are not truly free. This all is based on old energy. Fear energy. Now, true freedom is available to everyone who are willing to do the job. It has never been supported energetigally more than now."

Responsibility. I agree. This is why I have been scared. When I take full responsibility of myself, I can not relay on anyone else than me. I can not put my life choises on anybody elses shoulders. I can not blame anyone for how I feel.

"When you take full responsibility, you don't listen anything and I mean anything outside of yourself. You don't get reaction from others comments and you don't need to ask for them. To simplyfy, nothing outside of you affects you anymore. You can be free when you don't react, but you reflect. You don't give explanations, but you just say how you feel. You don't blame the circumstanses or a persons actions (or words) on how you feel. It is all on you. You will not believe anything that is told to you, but you sit with it and you do your own research about the topic. Then you listen to your own heart and live accordingly. You can be totally free only when your being doesn't depend on your work, your creation, your friends, your family, your husband, material things, money, accomplishments, your looks. Basically anything then your being. And you don't put any life choise you make to Universes, Gods or Angels sholders. ALL YOUR BEING HAS TO BE ABOUT YOU and you alone."

Wow, this is sooo very powerful!!! All this time, I had this feeling that I am close to something. Roger wanted to give me an idea, that it was a new creation or new location with new people. Oh my, he is so very clever! And oh my god how long I believed him! I sat day after day waithing for an insight, a new idea or some kind of glue "which way to go". And all along, it was, AGAIN, an inner thing!

Now I see that true freedom allows me to be me. Without nothing external. I used to think that I would be free if I get the money or I create a business that I like and brings me financial "freedom".

"True freedom is a STATE OF MIND. It is forever present no matter what is going on externally. But in order to reach this, you need to stand fully on your own two feet", says Victoria. "And love, you are almost there."

I have to sit and let this sink in. I have felt this. I have felt something big coming towards me, but I haven't been able to put my finger on it. I never, in million years, could have imagine, that it is this. This was my "goal" all along. To do my inner work. Shine my light to all my dark corners, so that I could be free. Truly free. Wow!

"And remember love, you can never help anothoer human to find their freedom. This is a road that everyone, who are willing, has to find them selves. They have to have a inner, burning desire to accomplish it, otherwise they will stay where they are, because it is the easier and familiar option. But this is their choise and we have to respect all choises", says Victoria. "When you understand this, it becomes part of your freedom, doesn't it?"

Oh yes baby! I don't want to carry anyone on my shoulders. It wouldn't work anyway. I see it now. 

I got a glimpse of how true freedom feels. It was a feeling that is hard to explain. But it was so powerful, it brought tears in my eyes. I am not fully there yet, but I am determined to get there. 

How to stand in the fire (outside circumstanses) without running away from it (reacting, listening to others), as I am used to, but instead standing in that fire with peace and confidense?  Well, this is my practise at the moment. Because when I learn this, I am truly free!