BE THE GODDESS

So it is, that the days and weeks in my second home in Africa, turned into months. Life was simple and nice. No planning, just going with the flow and being present in every moment. I loved it and sometimes hated it, but that's the way it goes! I never knew where I end up when I leave the house and for how long. I was and I am practicing "the new me". Now I have been back in Finland for a couple of months and I have loved the fresh air and our nature. Here is so pure and beautiful. 

I gather my crew today, because I want to talk about learning this new way of being. Roger (my ego) doesn't always agree with the rest of us, but it is okey. We are used to it and we don't allow him to disturb us that much. It is amazing to see how fast things that used to take days or weeks, now pass by within hours. I used to got caught up with Roger's arguments for too long, now it is not possible. Victoria (my higher self) is in charge!

Today I want to talk about self love. Being a goddess. Being the diamond I came here to be. I have noticed, that I have still expected people outside of me, to give me compliments and feedback. I have expected them to tell me that I am beautiful and that I am worthy. I have put huge expectations to the shoulders of others on how they should love me. And if they don't act the way I think they should, they actually don't love me. These are the games that Roger keeps on playing. He is always looking outside for validation and he is measuring the amount of love we get. Or don't.

I honestly thought that I have already cleansed all of these things. I though that I truly love myself unconditionally and yes, in some ways I do. But I need to have a chat with Victoria and have a chat about this with her. Why do I still look for validation outside?

"This is where your mirrors lie. When you look outside of you and you don't "get what you want", it is just a beautiful compass to your inside world. You will not "get what you want" from outside, until it is fully integrated inside", says Victoria. 

I sit with this for a while. So what does this mean, can you explain a little bit more?

"I bet, you have heard million times a quote "you create your own reality". But do you really understand this fully?" she asks.

Well, some part of me understands it, but some part is confused. For example, I don't ask for dark nights of the soul, but they come. Just like that, out of the blue! This is not the reality I want to create for sure! So when these days hit me, it is very hard to think positive or see the light at the end of a tunnel. Sometimes these days knock me to my knees and I feel like "fuck it". So is this what I create then?! 

"This is different love", says Victoria. "This is cleansing. You are just cleansing old beliefs and fears when this happens. When this process is on, there is no need to think about anything else, then just allow that to be and feel what you are feeling. If you feel down and upset, then it is so. This has nothing to do with creating your reality, but everything to do with being authentic and real."

"These dark days, are actually days, where I am in charge", says Roger. "Honey, I just want to keep you safe, so I honestly play all the trick that I can". 

We all start to laugh, because this is so true! Even if me and Victoria just want to relax, because we know the drill and we just want to feel the intensity and let it flow, Roger puts up a good play! He will create stories as much as he can, for sure, and one of them are these expectations from others.

"But, then we come to those days where the energy is cool, light, creative and nice. During those days, I believe, that you are feeling much more better and more like you. Those are the days where you can think of what is it that you do want to create in your life. Then the energy is aligned with your soul - with me! And I always know what is best for us! These days our creation is more about allowing ideas and thoughts to come to us, instead of forcing them. When Roger doesn't want things and validations, like tittles, anymore, it is easier to just be in the moment and allow everything to unfold naturally."

We all agree, that when the energies are lighter, Roger doesn't create drama that much anymore and this definitely is easier for all of us.

But back to this self love and outside validation. 

"As long as you don't believe that you are a diamond. That you are not worthy of all the abundance of the world, the outside world answers to that energy. You don't ever have to ask for no one to bring you flowers when you are fully aligned with your inner goddess. With unconditional love towards yourself. You will buy those flowers to yourself first and enjoy them fully, with all your heart! And then, maybe, to your surprise, someone will come to you with arms full of flowers", Victoria explains. 

"When you put expectations into others, you actually push them away. You give them an energetic pressure and this makes them feel like no matter what they do, they can not do it right. So basically you send them a message that they are not good enough, they are failing in loving you (themselves) and that their presence in your life is unsatisfying. And I don't think that this is a message any of us want to give to anybody!"

Uuu, this is so true! My god! I have felt the pressure of expectations, so I know how it feels and still, I have been doing it! Well, all I can do is to forgive myself and learn! Get conscious about my actions. 

"Love yourself!" Victoria shouts with a huge smile in her face. "Love as much as you can and use other people as a mirror to this self love! Give them love unconditionally, give them compliments, lift them up and hug them. Be the acceptance you want from others. The more love, acceptance and compliments you are able to give outside of yourself, the more love you are giving to yourself. Remember, you can only give and show love to others, as much as you can give it to yourself. And eventually, you will get all of that love back to you. Without asking for it or putting any expectations towards anyone. It will flow into your life freely and authenticly."

I love this! I can see that I haven't been ready to this, because I am used to get hurt when being open and sharing love to people. But now I don't care! Do me wrong... Well, I might not want to hang around you, but I surely will send you lots of love and keep on wishing all the best for you. And when it comes to the people around me, I still have work to do in order for me to learn to be more open and willing to express my love for them. 

"All you need is the willingness", says Victoria. "As long as you are willing, the Universe will step up behind you and help you. It will bring you situations and people where you can practice this in action. And you will learn this. I know you will and you can do this. Until you see it, you can not change it. But when it comes to your awareness, then the doors for changing old habits and beliefs are open". 

I love this! And I am willing to learn. After all, this is why we are all here. To love ourselves fully and it can only happen through different events and people in our lives. All I need to know right now is, that I am willing and I am okey with this. 

I am a goddess. I am a diamond. I am unique and worthy. And perfect enough.